Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Jerk Off Those Relief Society Arms!

I have insomnia.  Do you?  Do you find yourself watching those stupid weight loss and exercise infommercials in the middle of the night?

Obviously I have.  And the wedding and my appearance in my MOB dress has effected my common sense.  For the first time in my life I have wanted to order something from those fakies that only appear in your subconcious at 2 AM when you don't turn your TV off!

It is the Shake Weight.  Just the sight of it makes me giggle.  Can I really get rid of my arm flab and back fat by giving a simulated hand job for six minutes?

I bought it!

I have done my 6 minutes for the last few days.

I'm pretty sure a man who had a weak wife/partner invented this product.

Will my arms look like Michelle Obama's at the wedding?  Probably not.  But will I be able to break the Guiness Book of World Records for the longest hand job -- YES.

That accomplishment might actually get me a date for the wedding.  Please send all eligible bachelors my way!