Did you know that there is a cab called Gladiator? It was a truly thumbs up moment at the liquor store today. And the thumbs were saving me.
It has been quite a week.
A nineteen hour road trip to the middle of nowhere Montana with my mother. Kyky is lucky that there will be a GOB at her wedding after that. I truly wanted to throw her from the vehicle at ninety miles an hour several times over the course of the thousand mile trip. She was an anxious, mean and selfish passenger. I was supposed to be greatful that she accompanied me. It was too dangerous for me to go alone. Really? What would she have done for me if the car had broken down? If I was attacked? If I got lost? Broken down - she would have told me to call my dad. Attacked - I would have been murdered while in the process of trying to gather her oxygen stuff and prod her out of the way of danger. Lost - really, isn't she always lost? I'll be nice. The couple of hours that she actually visited were kind of nice. I still took a valium when I got home! But the trip was well worth it. I paid tribute to a woman most deserving of the life celebration her community and family honored her with. And my best friend appreciated my being there, even if she didn't say it.
My dad's best friend passed away on Tuesday. An awful death. He was alone on a business trip and had a stroke. The hotel staff found him twelve hours later after his wife made a distressed call looking for him. My dad is on vacation in St. Maarten. Unreachable to most. Unable to make it to town for the services. I am his ambassador. I will send a card of condolences to John's widow. Kyky and I will make the drive to Idaho for the services. We are not my dad, but we can represent him. It is important to him, and therefore, important to us.
Finally, though kind of trivial next to two deaths -- bridesmaid dress shopping! Kyky can't think about bridesmaid dresses without overwhelming anxiety. How much can she expect people to pay? Should the Maid of Honor be dressed differently than the rest so she stands out? Short? Long? Strapless?
Last night we found a great dress and at a good price. Four out of five loved it and even said "I'll totally wear it again." Silly saying. Everyone knows they won't! The dress is like the jeans in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. It fits the busties as well as the less endowed. It fits the bridesmaids blessed with height as well as the shorties. The jock and the tree hugger both like it. The future sister-in-laws liked the price and loved the pockets. The only one with an issue -- the girl who doesn't like her legs. The one desiring a full length gown rather than a sexy above the knee hem.
Problem solved -- just add a laser spider vein removal to the wedding budget and everyone is happy.
Stress, Stress, Stress. How to escape? It is Friday and that means a new episode of Spartacus. An evening of tiny loin clothes and abs of steel. A game of how many times can the word cock be used in a single hour. And what would gladiator battles be without a glass or bottle of red wine? A stop at the liquor store and my evening is perfect. The week's stresses fade away just like the lovely Thracian's past. The bottle of Gladiator Cab is fading away pretty nicely too.